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Monday, April 23, 2007

I was a bully

This is serious ... growing up I was a BULLY! From the age of 6 I played soccer on the all boys team. I played Rec League with all boys, I was on the Coastal Travel Team with all boys, I was on the Myrtle Beach Sand Boys team. It may be horrible to say - but I was GOOD ... I really was ... I made the "All Star Team" in every tournament we were in, I was the captain of several of those boys teams and I was always a starter! I was the "talk of the town" the little girl that could out do the boys every time! I had articles about me in the paper weekly and I continued to get better! We did not have a girls team at school and my only choice was to try out with the boys as I always did!

I guess it was my 8th grade year of middle school when we were at a "all boys tournament" and a gentleman named Herm Halter approached my parents asking why I was on the "boys travel team?" My parents replied that we did not have "girls" soccer in Myrtle Beach ... Herm then proceeded to invite me to try out for the all girls travel soccer team in Charleston, SC ... my parents were ecstatic! Anything to keep me out of trouble and away from my home "crowd." You see I hung out the the athletic boys ... yep those boys the boys who knew they were "IT" the boys who carried themselves different that the other boys. Since I was one of those "BOYS" I carried my self different too!

After trying out for the Woman's Charleston Travel Team "CTUSA" and making it ... I was invited to try out for the Olympic team. Which I made too ... I was not too far away from playing with the "big girls" and by big girls I mean Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain , yep I was good. I never made it to Alternate - who is someone named to step in in case someone else gets hurt but I was only 1 step out! My Soccer life was a blast I met so many people and made so many friends ... but it wasn't until I started to play College ball that I realized I was MEAN! I really was. I carried myself different than all the other girls, and I always blamed it on others ... "well she started it" "it wasn't my fault." 1993 my coach at LMC sat me down and said "Kim, you don't have to be Billy the Bully anymore ... you are "it" no one can take your spot, you are the one in charge of your life. You have one choice to play for me ... you will grow up and you will stop all of this!" It wasn't until then that I realized I carried myself different, I held my head WAY HIGH, I gave looks to those that didn't deserve it ... only because I was trying to prove myself ... but to who?! I Guess that all started when I was "one of the BOYS!"

Why am I telling you all of this ... well this weekend someone from my past ... a girl from High School left a very mean comment on one of my MySpace pictures. I checked it all out and this girl left a blog about me on her MySpace. It wasn't enough that she called me FAT on my own page but then she wrote this blog about me on her page saying how mean I was ... that I ruined her life and how I beat her up and stuff ... (which I never did). I remember being not so nice to her ... she was one of those "different girls," She dated my boyfriends best friend ... she was a vegetarian, she protested Procter & Gamble because they tested things on animals, she was just different. Not that those things are bad, but in High School when you are young and dumb different is different no matter why it is that you are different. (by the way I don't use P&G products because of her, so I must have listened to her) I can remember getting into 2 debates with her, never any fights but debates ... anyway she wrote this blog about how mean I was and how fat I am ... and I am here to say I am glad that I had the past I had. I am glad I was the athlete I was, I am glad I was mean enough to get the life I got out of soccer, however I am not PROUD that I was mean to anyone. I am not that person anymore ... 1993 that was 14 years ago. I have changed SO MUCH that it isn't even funny.

While I am very upset that this girl threw me out there, trashed me and called me FAT, I am sure in her eyes I deserved it ... so this is MY APOLOGY to anyone out there that I was mean to! I am sorry, I honestly am ... that was then this is now. If you would give me a chance you would see how much I have changed. For this girl I hope that she can move on and let it go ... it was 14 years ago, my goodness ... I have asked for forgiveness and I hope that God knows how sorry I am. As I am sure he does ... I have been asking for forgiveness since 1993 ... my freshman year in college. I grew up and all thanks to two men ... Herm Halter for taking time out of his day to invite me to Charleston to play with girls and then my College Soccer Coach, thanks to both of them for seeing in me what I could not!!

I am moving on now, I was mean, I am not anymore! I was young and dumb, I am now married with child on the way and I hope and pray that Karma does not treat our daughter the way I treated others!

Thanks for listening to me ramble and if I have ever in anyway been mean to you ... I AM SORRY!

5 comments:

kimmyk said...

There was that one time...at band camp..that you hurt mah feelins. I mean, I'm fragile Kim don't you know that??? Just thinking about all this *sniff* has me sick to my stomach *throwing up a little in my mouth* I think I need to go lie down now.

Oh for the love of Jesus and Mary people, get over it. OMG...If we all had to say we were sorry for even half the shit some of us did as teens-my word. We'd never progress as adults. But then again, it's bitches like you that make all these crazy ass sonsabitches flip their fuckin' lids. LMAO...I'm kiddin.

People can be so rude. And you're not fat. You're beautiful. She's just jealous. You want me to like beat her up for ya? I'll do that y'know. I have no problem blog stalking her. I got your back girl. I got your back.

KimmyK said...

This is why I Love KimmyK! Thanks girl!

Chris said...

I have to agree with KimmyK...wow...how many years later we're stalking someone on their MY SPACE page? GET A FREAKING LIFE! Why would she call you FAT when it's quite obvious you are PREGGERS!? I love that you addressed it. I hope those pregnancy hormones helped motivate that post! LOL! Good for you girl. Move on! I understand apologizing for the sake of Karma but you don't owe anyone that from something SO long ago! It's not like you killed anyone!
By the way...our family vacation is Myrtle Beach this year. Any suggestions on great Seafood restaurants or fun things to see do?
We'll be there June 3-10. Thanks!

Chris said...

ok...I went to your my space and hers...read her blog. What a joke. What the F is "I's married now"...get hooked on phonics already. Why is this firing me up? It's so stupid. She really needs to get on with her life. You were MORE than the bigger person (ha! no pun intended) to even address her on her blog. Good for you!

katie said...

girl- tell that rude, pathetic girl to kiss your ass! i was a mean kid too at times and i can still be a pain in the butt sarcastic smart ass. don't you dare feel bad about yourself! be proud for being a strong woman. that chick is a loser to write that on your blog and it speaks volumes about HER insecurities. rock on and hold your head high! :)