Well the cries are back. The tears turned on today and I can't shut them off.
Tatum Bell has no idea how much her life is getting ready to change, the house is STILL NOT ready, I am fat as a house and it is 100+ degrees outside! Work sucks and my husband is off working his ass of to get us into that house that still is NOT ready. Tatum just left to go to my mom's for the night and I can't stop crying! Not because she left but because no one is here to see me at my worse! No one has even looked at our house (the one for sale) but we did have 1 ... ONE call this past weekend! I want to crawl in a hole and hide until it is all over ... the house, the baby and the stinking heat! I hate that I am down, I hate that here I am crying trying to see the screen trough tears and really what is there to cry about?! Some people don't have an abundance of babies, or 2 houses or too much on their plate - OVERWHELMED ... can I say that again ... I AM OVERWHELMED! At Tatum's 1 year old check up they asked if she knew any body parts?! No ... I cried ... am I already failing her ... we are too stinking busy to teach her ... nose, eyes, ears ... Where am I supposed to find that energy?! It is hard enough to get her home, feed her, bath her, and put her to bed ... never mind the WIFE I am SUPPOSED TO BE~! I can't do this! I can't be all I am supposed to be! I can't be a mommy, a wife and a worker. I can't be a 2 house owner, and a business owner. I can't do it! I need HELP! You know what is bad about all of this ... I have help - it is surrounding me! NO ONE not one of my family members, or friends expects ANYTHING from me ... Sunday I took Tatum to the house ... we swam while everyone worked ... everyone was FINE with it, they were just glad to see us out and about ... but me I cried ... I am the worker, I am the DOER ... and NOTHING I can't do it!
Okay .. enough of this crying ... I am off to take a bath and relax, suck it up and be a big girl! Love to you all and if you have some prayers left ... please think of me!