My Babies

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

ALIVE

I am sure you are ALL very sick of seeing that title, but I am here! I am Alive! My baby boy turns 7 months old tomorrow ... and I really have missed it ALL! I have been having a rough time ... with being sick and Bowden still not sleeping well to be honest, I have started to slip. Slip mentally that is. I have not been happy. It has been very very hard. I NEVER imagined it would be like this. The BOY REQUIRES constant and I mean CONSTANT attention. He cries so much. I made ANOTHER appointment to see the Dr. I really think something is wrong with him. It has been hard and I HATE IT! I have missed so so much of his life because honestly I am mad at him. As much as I have tried to push that away and fully love him the way I should and I have tried to ignore his needyness, ( not sure if that is a real word, but I am using it!) but seriously it has been so so HARD! Now I do have to admit things are starting to get better ... I FINALLY have been having at least 2 moments a day that I just want to kiss him to death and love him ... but with Tatum that was constant ... with Bowden it is very minimal ... but at least it has started! I was really starting to worry! I have talked to my Dr. it is not me, I am not depressed with me, him or my family. I do not have PPD he is just difficult. While I haven't enjoyed him, I have never thought of hurting him or myself. I am not in a depression ... I wish I were, or at least I wish my Dr had said I was ... haha for now a very very small *Zanix when I get overwhelmed is helping.

On a good note ... he is smiling a lot more now. I think he will be crawling by Friday ... he has got it down pat, but only for 4 moves and then he spazzes out. He has started eating "graduates" the little melt in your mouth finger food things ... that makes our dinner much more enjoyable! For the most part he has started to sleep more ... 2 day naps around 1 hour each and night time waking up once. He has been eating food and likes homemade better than canned. (He likes it thicker) He is wearing 6-9 month clothes. He LOVES a bath and I can't wait to start bathing him and Tatum together! It will be so much fun! Still no hair, but neither did Tatum! He is starting school on Monday next week, I am hoping that will calm some of his needyness. With us he gets constant attention because we can't stand to hear him cry ... maybe they will help us break that.

Thank you all ... all 3 of you who still read me ... thank you for your Prayers ... I know you all pray for me, cause I pray for you!
We did go for a small camping trip ... last week we went to Atlanta to the races (sorry Chris we didn't have a car and I didn't want to burden you with coming to see me ... I know you JUST as busy as I) We left for ATL on Tuesday ... 4 Adults, 2 kids, and 1 dog in a RV from Tuesday - Monday. Bowden DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL! Tatum did well and I really had a hard time with them ... from 9 am - 3 pm one of them was asleep so that meant that one of us had to stay in the camper with them ... something we have NEVER had to do ... one of us missed a lot! It was sad for me! But we did have fun too ...
Tatum and Bowden playing with the etch a sketch!


He may be a pain, but he is adorable!

After 4 hours in their car seats, we let them out of them to look out the window for 10 minutes ... they did really well going back into them after diaper changes! I was surprised!

Tatum in her P*epsi hat!

My Hubby and I with Bobby Allison ... yes we got HOT passes from a friend! Spent 3 days in the Pits ... best thing EVER!!! PS ... can you tell how much weight I have lost?!

13 comments:

Robin said...

dude, you look HOTT!!!!

and, i miss you so much. :(

Anonymous said...

It looks like you guys still had a blast even if Bowden did not sleep. He is totally adorable.. God made him adorable for a reason ;). Gotta love him through the tears and smiles. Of course, Tatum is just precious too! I love her pepsi hat!

Peggy

Boom said...

I'm still here...I WILL pray for you. And for that sweet boy.

You're about to turn a corner. I can FEEL it. I CAN!!!

The Smith Family said...

Before your PS note I was looking at the picture and thought you looked great. Have you just lost weight because you've been sick or are you following a plan?

I really pray that things with Bowden get better. It's not fun when you don't enjoy your little one. I know you don't mean it, it's mentally and physically wearing on you when the baby is so needy. I pray his doctor will be able to find something you can do to get things better.

So, you have Bowden eating the graduate melt yogurt bites? We still have Ben on stage 2 foods because I honestly can't remember when we allowed our oldest (he is 6 now) to start other foods. Ben has 6 teeth now so I am sure he could do other foods. I will send you an email and we can discuss.

Keeping all my fingers and toes crossed and praying that things get better for you and Bowden.

I would love to go to a race sometime. We are huge NASCAR fans but never have been to a race. Looks like you all had a blast!

kimmyk said...

WOW. Bless your heart. Is it his formula? Cant he go to whole milk yet? I know they say a year, but holy smokes. I'm sorry to hear he's having a difficult time sleeping.

He is a cutie though.

and girl, you are looking hot! You've always been very pretty though....

Jamie said...

Holy cow. You have lost weight. Well done you. Looking fabulous!!!

Heidi said...

It looks like you guys had fun. I can imagine how difficult it must be with two kids that are so little! Sometimes it is crazy with just one! Don't worry you are doing an awesome job with your babies! One day you and Andy will look back at this and laugh! PS.. You look awesome! What are you doing? I am struggling!

Stephanie said...

You do look awesome!! And I can not even imagine what you are going through - I am sure it is the hardest thing ever. To love your child but also be really frustrated with them. I would be the SAME WAY. I do think of you and pray for you OFTEN. You are superwoman!!

Courtney said...

Damn you look good!!!! I read your blog weekly, make that 4 friends lol. Can't wait to see you soon!

The Partins said...

Love the pics. They are so cute. And you look great! Illness does you good. haha.

LCP said...

You look so great!! Great diet you are on, and something easy to stick to. And too cool you met Bobby Allison and had pit passes...I cannot wait to start going to races again, awesome you were able to do it with the kids!!

I hope the doc had some solution for Bowden being cranky and crying all the time...the small time that Jack was collicky made me nuts!! So I can't imagine going on 7 months of it!! Prayers for you and Bowden...let us know how that goes!

LCP said...

Oh, Oh, Oh,....have you by chance tried any kind of probiotics with Bowden? I have been on them and I was adding them to Jack's milk during the day at school and I think that has partially made a difference for him...though I haven't been following close enough, maybe you have determined it is not "gut" stuff. In any case...I fully endorse probiotics...for all ages...

Melanie said...

I'm just catching up on the blog and I knew you were losing weight, but hadn't seen any pics until now. YOU LOOK FABULOUS! Good job! I can see it in Andy too!!